Friday, 2 March 2018

Buckets of Love? Not so much

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I have really been enjoying belonging to a ladies' club here in our small town.  We meet once a month, have a speaker and a 'tea' and a bit of a natter.  The club is thirty years old and it's main function is merely to socialise and get to know each other a bit.  As a sideline, we knit for charity and collect groceries/donate money for any poor families that anyone might know in the area.  Plastic buckets containing 'essentials' are made available for anyone to take at the end of the meeting. These are voluntary contributions but it has to be said that our last committee meeting, there was a suggestion that some members don't donate at all to these worthy causes.  There were some strong feelings about this. We pay an annual (very small) membership fee and about $2 per meeting for the tea. I confess that I find myself reluctant to contribute to these buckets because of the name.  Love?  I can feel sorry for anyone who is poor, a victim of circumstance, but if I want to support them it is not through feelings of love, neither do I feel any need to feel guilt because of my own happy circumstances.  Also, I feel that most of us donate privately to our own preferred good causes. This word 'love' is not bandied about easily in my family.  I am sorry to say neither my mother nor father ever told myself or my brother that they loved us.  Well, not out loud.  The British custom is to buy birthday cards with sentimental messages signed 'love mom and dad'.  Similarly, we would reciprocate with cards on our parents' birthdays.  It seems to be a modern trend for everyone to express love very casually on the social media, but not me.  Do you think I should just suck it up and put some money or groceries in the box to keep the peace and satisfy the eagle eyes who are clearly watching? I think not.  Some things are a matter of principle. They just need to change the name. NB I do tell my own kids/grandchildren that I love them (but not all the time).

4 comments:

  1. My husband and I tell each other I LOVE YOU before either of us leaves the house, every single time, even if we're just going to the store. I tell my 2 sons I love them every time I see them. I tell my friends I love them. When I was growing up it wasn't this way but now its more important than ever. As for donating, I donate how/when/where/how much when I want to, not when someone else tells me to do it.

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    1. I really enjoy your comments Denise - gives me more stuff to ponder always. Glad we are all on the same page re charity donations.

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  2. I think love for one's family is very different from love and compassion for humankind but both are possible. In my opinion, both are even desirable but that is just my humble opinion and the way I choose to live. However, I don't think anyone should be pressured to give in a social situation as you describe. It causes bad feelings and that is not the meaning of love for others in any way.

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    1. Yes. Different types of love, definitely exist and can be differently defined - and all are valid. It's interesting that we all grew up in families we thought were the norm and in retrospect and as a different generation we can pick and choose how much we behave like our parents. (Or at least that's the theory).

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