Tuesday, 4 July 2017

Small Son Asks - Is She The One?

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We have been quite relieved that lately small son has settled down into a career that he enjoys - building houses with his brother-in-law. It's risky business but a great learning curve. At the same time, he is going out with a girl he knew at high school and has met up with ten years later. It seems they had both had their eye on each other for some time.  It's almost a year now and suddenly small son has been asking our advice. What to say? I am most reluctant to offer advice in this area.  If I am honest, my own 40-year marriage started out on the rebound and my husband is actually the polar opposite in every way to the man I thought I was in love with before. Typically of love in one's mid-twenties, a break-up is devastating at the time and one is extremely surprised and delighted to discover that true love can still happen after that. In fact, I had absolutely no doubt and not a moment's hesitation about getting married: we both just knew. But is it always so easy? These days, if you are pushing thirty and the clock is ticking it's likely that the couple have lived together for some time and have become perhaps a little comfortable. Does that mean the magic has diminished? Practical considerations seem to be that one is getting too old to risk looking for something different.  Where do you find the perfect someone? I prefer to stay out of this one.  I heard my husband advising, rather lamely, on the phone,  "Don't worry, you will just know".  In today's world, divorce seems to be easily on the cards and maybe the attitude of the young is that it is probably the right thing to do. It's a different generation.  Meanwhile we wait and see,