I hadn't yet finished preparations for my argument when I lost it while we were watching an episode of "Fortitude" this week in which the policeman (along with other men in the tiny town), is besotted with the very pretty Spanish girl. My husband made a disapproving remark about their age gap and I couldn't help but snap at him that he had no room to talk considering his own fantasies!!! I think he had not realized I was still upset with him (have tried to be normal), and two days later he declared that he was very depressed and must clear up whatever was wrong with me. In the end, I asked him to explain his feelings for her and his feelings for me during those years. At which point I could not withhold ugly tears and also somewhat ridiculously sobbed that I wasn't yet ready for this discussion as I hadn't got my make-up on and was sweaty because we had just got back from our morning walk. This aside, I got some very satisfactory answers in the end which explained everything and felt I could forgive him for his stupidity that night. We concluded that he must have been making a big joke, considering that M had always been 'one of the boys' to him. In retrospect, things have been very loving and romantic since, and I wonder if one does not need this kind of reassurance top-up every few years, especially as we age and life becomes so regular and routine. In fact, I have jacked up my own behavior, trying to be more patient re deafness etc.etc. Must avoid becoming a nag as well. Maybe it was good to have a bit of a shake-up, considering that it ended well. I think I must find some new interests to occupy my mind: I am afraid of becoming boring. As an afterthought, I have fished out the long, blonde wig I bought a few years back, bought some new underwear and have successfully dyed my pubes! None of this will have any effect on him (apart from amusement) but it makes me feel a lot better. Oh yes, my friends were, predictably, very supportive and sympathetic, not to say, very ego-boosting on my behalf. It's great to have friends.