On our return home after the 70th birthday, we were accompanied by couple of family members for whom the 600 mile trip for the party was effectively half-way to us, so why not continue on and visit? It made sense as any kind of 1200 mile trip is by car, long, arduous and expensive. So they came to us for 3 days. This is a desirable length for a visit (they had to get back to their farm anyway) and also because tourist attractions where we live can use up about two days maximum and is two days is also about the limit of my tolerance for the male half of this couple. I hasten to add he is not a bad person, just not my type: I am not interested in cars, guns, hunting or exclusively South African history, or in being constantly lectured on any or all of these topics. There are other reasons but I won't go into them. Let me just say that he let his two mischievous boys swim in our vinyl swimming pool with their newly acquired diving knives: after their departure the pool water sank down a metre, revealing some large slashes in the vinyl. Responsibility was denied. However, this was thirty something years ago so let bygones be bygones. Since then, this character has become famous largely for his clumsiness (wine glasses always knocked over onto table cloths) and impatience. When time came for them to depart, my husband activated our electric gates so that he could reverse out of our driveway. Inevitably, he didn't notice that the gates hadn't finished opening and reversed out, bumping the gate off its slider, hard enough to dent in his own fender. Having dashed out to his car and gesticulated wildly to get him to stop (he is now somewhat deaf), I went back into the house and vented my spleen with some choice swear words that I rarely use. Back outside, my husband had managed to get the gate working again and told me there was no real damage. This is my nasty bit: damaging his fender (never mind our gate) plunged our visitor into lasting gloom and completely spoilt his day, not to mention his enjoyment of his holiday. Good. In mitigation of my evil thoughts, I will say that I felt remorse later on: he is becoming an old man now (72) and his reactions can't be what they used to be. He does have a reversing camera in his vehicle though.