Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Internet Dating.

 
Google image

Just a few thoughts because - no, I haven't done it, neither do I want to or need to (at the moment) but I might consider it one day.  What interests me is, having heard quite a few discussions on the subject, why do people choose to misrepresent themselves when writing up their profiles and posting their photograph? If you are looking for a companion for whatever reason, surely it makes sense to be as honest as possible?  I don't mean revealing any personal details that could lead to identity fraud,  but rather the other stuff, interests, likes etc. If you don't do this, how great will be the disappointment when you actually arrange to meet a real person? Something that amazes me - why do so many people rate a 'sense of humor' so highly?  There is one lady where I volunteer, who seems to find everything hilarious and she bursts out laughing every five minutes. It drives me nuts. I've always been rather a serious person myself although I do enjoy a good laugh as much as the next person, but one a week would suffice. Sometimes I laugh even less often than that. I recognise that I seek out the serious stuff in life.  I like movies that are tragic and make me cry,  I enjoy thrillers and forensic detection. I like the Swedish writers - has there ever been a better trilogy than "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"?  I digress. I am not right now looking for kindred spirits. I think perhaps some people who use these websites are simply desperate - and so they lie. No wonder so many report bad experiences.  Actually, I must steer clear of the things: I recall in my youth, during my dating years, most of the guys I went out with I felt sorry for. They tended to be either a bit of an underdog, pathetic for some reason and definitely stood behind the door when good looks were handed out. By the time I could bring myself to dump them, I really despised them and dreaded going out on a date. This developed into a Catch 22, whereby I would feel bad and doubly sorry for them, and thus the sorry situation would drag on. No, I must stay away from the idea of Internet Dating. Now I must go and read some blogs - everyone has written good stuff this week.

11 comments:

  1. Hi Sextant. I've got a copy of ZAMM, and like Busman, got a quarter of the way through. However, you have made me get it off the shelf. I'll give it a good go this time. Very sad about our blogger's loss: I feel just the same about that photo. My sister-in-law lost her 5-year old the day after his birthday (an accident on the farm). She told me that people said some really daft things e.g. "Better now than if he was older"??? etc. etc. She told me a hug and no words at all is best. - (copied this from my comment on your blog, in case you don't see it there).

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    1. Here is my reply from over at my blog.

      Fiftyodd,

      ZAMM is not easy sledding. I keep thinking I should read it and Lila again and I keep thinking that I am too damned lazy.

      Oh my goodness, your poor sister in law. How tragic, such things are just beyond the normal range of belief. Why in the world do such terrible things happen?

      People do say some really daft things. Some people naturally are just daft, but most people are not. It is not that people are daft, it is the overwhelming sense of helplessness that we face. What in the world do you say to a woman that has lost her 5 year child? There is nothing that can be said. These things are violations of our normal sense of decency. You bury your parents and that is terrible, but it is also the natural order of life. We do not bury our children. It is an unspeakable violation of natural order. So people in that situation reach into their bucket of experience and find absolutely nothing to help them and blindly out slides the daft comment.

      I believe your sister in law is correct, a hug is probably the best one can do.

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  2. SWM seeks SWF. Pathetic, underdog SWM that hates walking on the beach, sunshine, and conversation seeks SWF with similar tastes. Those with bubbly personalities and a sense of humor need not reply.

    Fiftyodd, surely we must have dated at one time or other. I am a perfect match for your dates of the past...if not this lifetime (there seems to be some geographical separation) then in a past lifetime?

    Fortunately I have been out of the dating world for the past 38 years and doubt that I will ever re-enter. However knowing my luck some handsome man with a sunny disposition will sweep my wife off her feet. Boring, bald, pot bellied old fart seeks ....

    Like you, I am totally amazed at the stories one hears about Internet dating. How does one explain the sudden slide from a George Clooney look alike on the first date? Modern dating altogether is something that I am glad is after my time. I have often wondered about these blunt conversations regarding sexual histories that are supposed to take place. Exactly when does this conversation take place? How much latex does one have to encase themselves in and at what point do you start shedding such protections? Thank God I am old, I don't know that I could face the world of modern dating.

    Yes the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo books were great and I love rainy days as does my wife.

    One of the great things about having been together for the past 38 years is that we can both sit in silence and enjoy each other's company. No need for idle chit chat punctuated with bubbly laughter. When we do have a conversation, she finishes my sentences. We are old habits, but wonderful old habits, in fact, I am not sure that I could live without her. It is one of my great fears, in life...a cruelty beyond compare.

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    1. I absolutely share your greatest fear. It keeps me awake at night trying to plan strategies of how I might cope to the point that I have to try to empty my mind of these worries as much as possible. After all, it's pointless to ineffectually worry about an inevitability (barring the car crash that I think you have mentioned before) . Rather concentrate on the delights of the present, and savor them to the utmost. NB. I have also been with my beloved for 38 years - did you know that you and he are the same age within a few months?

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    2. Absolutely you have to live in the present. You can't do anything about the past or the future, other than take care of your self. Worrying is counter productive to that goal.

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  3. I find that I throw up a profile like a piece of bait in the ocean and see what fish jumps on the hook. sad to say, the ones that respond to my pathetic attempt at seeing who likes me is scary. I am shocked at the way Boomer men have become. I am delightfully adorable and did not cave to the pressures of peers that hung off every doobie and glass of beer. I took care of myself. so, I really find the web dating frightening and frankly I will probably never date again as I have not even witnessed a male naked over the age of 45 (yes I am a cougar) so I think it is over for me. thank you for your post, it hit home, and is a testament to web dating. yuck!!!!!

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    1. Your comment reminds me of a joke. What is the most widely used form of birth control for people over 40?



      Nudity.

      For some of us older folks physical attractiveness is a thing of the past (for me it never was). But that is why God give us night and engineers put switches on lights. It still feels great, and I think it is a factor in longevity...but I would not want to watch a movie of it.

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    2. I don't know about the 'will probably never date again'. Often amazing things happen when you've stopped looking for them. (NB - Sextant, please help - what is a 'cougar'?)

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    3. A large American wild cat with a plain tawny to grayish coat, found from Canada to Patagonia.


      Fiftyodd, surely you have heard of the Urban Dictionary. It answers all such questions:

      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cougar

      Now what I didn't know was that there was some cat / age delineations. Check out def 3 here:

      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=puma


      Its actually quite unfair, you would be a jaguar but I would be just a dirty old man.

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    4. Nah, hadn't heard of the 'Urban Dictionary' but I have now. NB - it's quicker for me to ask you - had a busy week this week....

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  4. Hi ! thanks for sharing these jobs. These will help to job hunters all around the glob. Great job.
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