Thursday, 11 July 2013

Coming Home



When you get home safely after a holiday, there's always a week or so of adjustment. Mixed feelings: great to be home, but sorry the hol. is over. Never mind, look forward to the next one.  Relief: back in our own deliciously soft bed. Anxiety: rush around to water my expiring indoor plants that small son forgot about. Loads of washing (small son saved his for me as well.) Relief: the house didn't burn down or suffer another flood from sub-standard plumbing like last time. A general feeling of well-being (for me), gloom for my husband (back to the stresses of work). Reflection: it was great to be up in Johannesburg and see friends I haven't bumped into for 35 years when we used to share a communal house together. It was great to attend my brother-in-law's 70th birthday but sad to have to attend a funeral - the oldest family member of our generation: uncomfortable feelings of our own mortality. Still, it was a wonderful funeral, about 100 people and wonderful eats enough for 200.  That's what's nice about living and working in the same community all your life: everyone comes and everyone remembers you. Such nice things get said.  Made me wonder what my own will be like one day as I've moved about a lot. Will someone send out word on Facebook or Twitter? Will memories be jogged in far corners of the globe and messages be texted? I'd love to be a fly on the wall. Better not.

6 comments:

  1. Ah such morose thoughts, perhaps it is better to have the pipes break so the mess will keep you occupied and spare you these black thoughts.

    I often tell my wife that when we croak, my son will have to hire pall bearers. I am afraid that it will be a rather paltry affair. Actually, my goal is die together with my wife In flagrante delicto, furnace explosion melting us into an inseparable yet identifiable mass forever in the missionary position with a look of ecstasy melted into our faces and thus requiring burial in one coffin. This will create five positive situations. 1) Neither my wife or I will be forced to live alone. 2) We shall spend eternity in that special moment that the French call la petite mort. 3) We should get a 2fer on funeral and burial costs. 4) The bizarre circumstances of our deaths will attract attendees to our funeral thus saving pall bearer costs. 5) My prudish son (who thinks that the last time his old, ugly, fat parents should have had sex was his conception) will be forced to explain just how his parents died. To top it off, I think my will will state that the funeral must be an open casket. Ha Ha, you prude...explain this one. Always modest in life, exhibitionists in death...what a way to go.

    Anyhow failing in our mutual coital deaths, if one of us goes before the other, we are going to by pass all that funeral nonsense. Just plant our asses into the ground as soon as possible...we don't intend to be guests of honor at a party or take some stately ride in a Cadillac station wagon.

    I feel for hubby, going back to work after a vacation always sucked. Welcome back home and really it is not all that terribly depressing.

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  2. Pardon my insensitivity. I read your post and came back a little later and commented on it. I forgot about you poor departed brother in law. My deepest sympathies to your and your husband over your loss.

    You are right, when we start losing those in our generation it reminds us that we are not indestructible and that our time is coming, so different from when we were young where death was reserved for old people, grand parents and such. My own impending doom is kind of so so, quite actually. I certainly don't fear death like I did when I was younger...it didn't seem to apply then but I feared it much worse. To face life without my wife however is my worse fear.

    Please accept my apologies for not acknowledging your loss on the first comment. I re-read your post and my comment and realized that I forgot.

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    1. Oh please, I am just glad that you always make time to comment at length. I giggled so much at the vision of you and your wife united blissfully forever. Would that we can go the same way. As you so perspicaciously observe: all I am really afraid of is being separated from my beloved husband. Although I have not been able to 'find' religion (still hoping), I do have a conviction that there must be a world of spirit somehow and that my husband and I will never be separated.

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    2. Alan Watts said that there are many paths to the top of the mountain. A very smart friend told me recently that all roads lead to Rome (if there is a Rome). My own feeling on this is that all religions are inspired by God (or the God shaped hole in our hearts) and all are corrupted by the hand of man. Take your choice...all roads lead to Rome. If none of those are good for you look within yourself. I believe that our Souls are Divine, the old sea water in the bottle argument...is the sea water inside the bottle any different than the ocean? Same stuff. Looking for God? Look within.

      People often wonder about the edge of the universe, imagining some border 15 bazzillion light years distant. If one started slicing an inch in half, and slice that half in half for a 1 > .5 > .25 > .125 > .... progression, one might imagine that one could slice forever, each slice half a thick as the previous. Not so, there is a limit, it is called Planck's length and it is as small as our universe goes. Any smaller you are into the quantum foam and out of our universe. So the edge of the universe is not only way out there but it it is right in the palm of your hand, in your mind and in your heart. I believe that is something of a metaphor for God...not only is it way out there but it is right inside you, perhaps one slice smaller than Planck's length and vibrating in a period shorter than a Jiffy. My belief is that we will be with our loved ones in the world of spirit within.

      In the interest of full disclosure, I am a new age flake. Time to go out and feed the unicorn rainbow dust.

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  3. Sorry to hear of the death in your family. My husband has now lost two of his three younger brothers and a couple of good friends. It is sobering when someone close to our age dies. It can no longer so easily be passed off as some kind of freak accident. Gulp.
    I am glad to hear, though, that your vacation time was pleasant. Now you can start planning the next excursion.

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    1. Yep. There is a lot of stuff to look forward to and enjoy planning.

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