Monday, 12 November 2012

Grass Widow for 4 Days

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Having chosen this title for this post, I suddenly wondered what it meant?  I mean where does 'grass' come into it?  OK - the definition does include "wife whose husband is temporarily absent", so I guess that's what I mean.  The other choice "While the Cat's Away" would be slightly misleading as I don't 'get up' to anything when my husband is on a business trip, apart form misleading my daughter, who is very compassionate and sends me messages all the time, worrying about me being on my own. In response to one of her enquiries I just texted back of those little Smiley faces - the green one  (meaning, I am envious of anyone who hasn't had an op on their foot and can't drive for six weeks). This caused some consternation as she thought I was ill.  Apparently, this is the face the young message to each other when they are suffering from a hangover. Anyway, the net result is that she will fetch me tomorrow morning for a trip to the mall and a large Capuccino. This will definitely cheer me up.  I have, however,  got over my envy of my husband's trip to Germany, as looking at his itinerary, it is definitely a 'man' thing, organised by his work.  The guys will be visiting the Mercedes museum in Stuttgart and subjected to some hours of 'presentations' about the new products. Tomorrow  - the best part - they will be allowed to test some of the new trucks by driving them full-speed around the race track.  (Have checked up on hubby's insurance policies).  My husband is blase (sorry, can't find the necessary accent) about this, as he has always been more interested in the internal workings of a vehicle than in how fast it will go, but I have to giggle that my daughter's father-in-law is the opposite and is almost crying with envy. I was at first envious of the hotel accommodation, (includes indoor swimming pool), but when I read the programme for the trip in more detail, it specifies every day "leave at 8.30 by bus",  "last bus returns 10.30 pm." so my husband won't have much chance to enjoy the facilities.  Also, he'll be back on Thursday. Meanwhile, I've discovered I can quite easily drink a bottle of white wine on my own during an evening of watching my preferred TV shows. Don't worry - I won't make a habit of it. I also find that a temporary separation definitely underlines the old saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder".


  1. Your days sound infinitely preferable to your husband's, tender foot and all!

    1. I have to admit it's nice just to please myself every minute of the time... which reminds me, got to finish a book before Book Club tonight. Luckily, I can get a lift.

  2. Well I am jealous of your husband's trip. I am no longer a car nut that I was in my youth and speed frightens me more than thrills me, but my teenage dream was to work in an automotive engine test lab and performance track. I am green with envy.

    On my business trips I was fine for about 5 days. Then I would start missing my wife. By the time 3 weeks rolled around my heart absolutely ached for her (and macaroni and cheese). It was odd though, missing my wife had several components to it. One of course was just missing her, my wife, the specific person, the most important person in the world to me. But there was also this larger backdrop of missing being around a woman. My business trips were product testing, so as a result I was constantly in the company of men usually working 10 to 16 hours a day. I would get this stifling need to get the hell away from men. Not that they were bad or a bunch of macho buffoons, they were just ordinary nice guys. I enjoyed working with them but I would get my fill of being around them. I can't really describe it other than I needed to be around a woman, not just in the obvious way. It was like my Soul screamed for some femininity, like I was drowning in too much testosterone. It is very hard to describe because it was far deeper than a sexual need, in fact very little of it was sexual need. It was more of the need for human touch, tenderness, a shared meal, sitting with some one you love and not having to say anything or be constantly on stage.

    I remember sitting in restaurants around holidays and seeing women wear holiday blouses and sweaters similar to what my wife would wear, and I would just ache for her. Supermarkets were strange. I would see couples together, buying canned goods for God sake, something hugely mundane and my heart would wrench missing my wife. I knew I was going home but there was this horrible yet wonderful bittersweet quality to missing her. It makes me fear the future.