Thursday, 8 March 2012

Uncharitable but Healthier


One of the hard things in life is recognizing one's own faults so it is with a sense of shame that I report a nasty side of my character.  It's about waiting for a lift.  When the doors open, I step back politely to let people get out: I don't mind that - but once I am in and have pressed the button for my desired floor... I want to get there fast. Always. As if it were a matter of life and death (which it never is). Just as the doors are closing someone always comes running and either they catch the door with their hand or ram their foot in it.  Manners obliges me to press the Open Button to let them get in, which I do through gritted teeth and a false smile. If we are extremely lucky that will be the end of it, but no, more often than not more and more shoppers arrive and we only get to depart when the lift is suffocatingly full. So now I take the stairs and life is much better.  Of course, I have many times run for the lift myself, squeezing in with abject, apologetic murmurings, which come to think is what others do too.  So maybe everyone feels the way I do?  One good thing has come of it: I now do a lot of running up and down stairs.

7 comments:

  1. Elevators are one of those things that are a public space that quickly becomes a little too ickilly private when the door shuts. So i don't think your "shameful nasty side" is particularly unique to you. They are a bit too cozy for me, and when I had good knees I always took the steps unless it was over 8 to 10 floors. Its one of those give up all rights to your autonomy sort of things, like being on an airplane, but hopefully for a much shorter flight. I despise elevators.

    I still won't pack into a elevator, and will wait for the next if it is a sardine tin, and will even painfully hobble the steps if only one or two floors.

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    1. Knees are one of the really annoying things about ageing... I'm getting a cortisone jab soon to fix mine. (It worked so well for my hip last year). Thanks for reminding me of the word 'elevator'. I couldn't think of it yesterday. Incidentally, I had my crotch grabbed once years ago between two floors when I was alone in a lift with a man. He jumped out as the door opened, seconds later, leaving me speechless.

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    2. Hmmmmm, you have a better understanding of "icikilly private" than I do. Its a shame you didn't have the presence of mind to return the favor except using a quick jab of your knee deep into his crotch. These things happen so fast that it is over before you can react but the thought of the son of bitch crumpled in corner clutching two achers in an otherwise empty elevator is just rich imagery that I would like to sit and enjoy for a spell.

      Japan's tightly packed commuter trains have a problem with that sort of thing. I despise men that violate women like that, a trait I may have inherited from my mother.

      When my parents were going together they were at a party, and some guy goosed my mother. She flew around grabbed the guy's hand and at the top of her lungs called him a f---er and with her knee dangerously close to his crotch told him if he ever touched her again she was going to kick his g. d. balls right up to his tonsils. Kind of put a damper on the party. My mother welded ships during the second world war. She knew how to take care of herself around men with loose paws. Before my time, but I must say I was proud of her. You can see a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day here:

      http://navfin.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-owe-my-existence-to-winston-churchill.html

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    3. Wow - your mother sounds absolutely marvellous. I am going to look at her pic now....

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    4. Being the odd character that I am, it has been a source of great sadness that I was not in the picture as well. My parents were boringly married 18 months before I came along. However not all is lost, my mother assured me that it was only a matter of bad luck that I was born lacking the bar sinister. Still I would find a certain satisfaction with fate and destiny to have been conceived prior to the I do's.

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  2. In my point of view You sure did put a new twist on something that Ive heard so much about. And How did you manage to make a blog that as smart as it is sleek?

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    1. Many thanks for the compliment. Google designs the blog - they make it easy, but the writing - honed over many years, but still very imperfect. Thanks for the boost to my day!

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