Monday, 22 November 2010

Battle of the Blades

Gillette recently released their newest razor blade the ‘Venus Embrace’ for women, featuring no less than 5 blades! This is the latest in a long line of one-upmanship with rivals in terms of how many blades can be squeezed onto one handle. What attracted me to this article in the Business Times (24.02.08) was the highlighted research-speak viz “Female shaving areas are more topographically varied” than men’s. Also notable is the solemn dedication of the researchers to the ‘emotional end benefits’ apparently crucial for women to experience while shaving. What could these be I wonder? Some sort of cosmic soothing brought on by the feel of the delicate curves and colours of the handle? I suppose it’s not that far removed from the feelings evoked by the sight of a curvaceous bottle of perfume, for example. I would never have thought that a disposable razor would have to have such bling. I reason that a razor cut on the shin is just as painful whatever the packaging and to my way of thinking, a thing with five blades just presents 5 more opportunities for inadvertently chopping bits out of your leg! I’m not totally low-tech though: I am partial to the double blade which can still be obtained by dropping to one’s haunches to the bottom of the smart razor gondola, where its’ humble packaging resides one shelf above the really cheap single-blade jobs. I’ve tried an electric razor, can’t get on with it. If the price creep continues though, I might consider going back to the beauty parlour waxing thing - I’ll just have to weigh up the relative pain of the two procedures. Actually, there’s no real contest: I’ve only ever had one wax. As any man will agree: the pain is extreme, but waxing will always be with us as there are some places I wouldn’t want a razor to go, especially if I were a man: have you heard what they ask for at the beauty parlour?

“Back, Crack and Sac,”, (my daughter delighted to inform me). How gross is that?

1 comment:

  1. Back, crack, and sac! That must be a lovely procedure--both to administer and receive. It would make an interesting bullet item on one's resume.

    Alas, I remain & shall remain painlessly hirsute. The current fashion for women (inspired by porn so I have read) of, shall we say, hairless nether regions totally amazes me. To yield blades or hot wax around the bud of joy seems to me to be an extremely reckless endeavor. My god one slip of the wrist...horrifying to think about. Nor am I a fan of the results. A woman should look like a woman not a prepubescent girl.

    Another horrific practice we have in the US is Aesthetic Vaginal Surgery. Essentially a gynecologist shows a woman a bunch of before and after pictures of the Barbie look, removal of those "unsightly" inner labia for a cool $5,000 to $8,000 of unregulated uncapped fees. Bastards. Again porn seems to be the source, and greed by the gynes is the drive. I wrote a blog post about it here:

    There are some interesting links in the post. Again some of us men like inner labia. Good God I can't believe some of the things human beings are will to do in the name of plummage.