Wednesday, 23 June 2010

That Hormone Patch

So now that I am pushing sixty, my doc says I must swop over to a patch – better for the liver, she says, considering that I have to take cholesterol pills as well. Well, they seem quite easy to apply – just out of sight on the buttocks, as long as they are far away from the breast area. OK. I’ve used about six now and tried one on my upper thigh for a change – as it’s winter here and I wear pants all the time. Shock, horror! Upon removing this one, I saw that, similar to wearing a plaster for half a week, when you rip it off, there is a nasty, greyish residue left behind where the glue was and it is the devil of a job to get it off. Upon observing my rear end (with some difficulty) in the mirror, I now see that I have literally a patchwork of these that I didn’t know about and upon which the gentle daily shower sponge has clearly made no impression. Nothing for it: I shall have to get my husband to apply the pot scourer to these out of reach regions. Maybe there can be an upside? Perhaps we can turn this bi-weekly exercise into some kind of esoteric foreplay. Failing that, it should at least be a bit of a giggle!


  1. The best fix for this problem is baby oil. I guess you could make a party for two if you wanted!

  2. I love this post! My daughter wants to get a tattoo. I said just to make sure it is on her hip where it won't be seen by me. I then said, "Then, when you have to apply your hormone patch later in life, you also be reminded of the folly of your youth when you got a tattoo."

  3. Ho, ho! My chemist has recommended surgical spirits to cope with the problem. Meanwhile, I have a worse problem - remembering which days of the week to change the infernal thing. Out of sight - out of mind!