It is one thing having a swanky new burglar alarm system, proclaiming its advent with huge notices posted outside the house but coming to terms with the complicated instructions for the various settings and zones is another thing entirely. Perhaps it is because of my background as an English language teacher that I struggle so. I have come kicking and screaming to accept that the majority of the population under 40 can no longer correctly position an apostrophe but I really need to come to terms with my burglar alarm’s use of English. When alarming the system before leaving the house I just press “Yes” on the digital screen with no preamble. When disarming the system in the mornings I enter my code and am then asked “No to disarm?” - which makes me want to answer the question “Yes, - I would like the “No” option” or alternatively I feel like pressing “Yes/No” - a tried and tested South African answer in any ambiguous situation. Actually, I am required to press ‘No’. I just can’t see the grammatical point of the question mark or any sense in the 'No' word.