Monday, 14 September 2009

The Worst thing about Menopause



"Abandon hope all ye who enter here!" This well-known warning apparently stems from Dante's Divina Commedia - but maybe it is apt here, although there is not much that is funny about menopause except that one does have to laugh about it amongst friends - otherwise it would just be tragic. So don't read on unless you brace yourself. What is the worst part about the change of life? - there are surely several things which spring to mind - mercifully, most can be controlled by pills of one sort or another. One thing which defies pills (and yes, I've tried testosterone - no effect in this area) is the insidious thinning and gradual disappearance of ....pubic hair! (SShhh!) It's no good - I want to find fellow sufferers. Worse - the remaining few go grey! In an embarrassed kind of way, I have permitted myself to think of dying them, emboldened even to think about this since the topic was aired on Oprah, when someone bravely asked why it should happen and the expert kindly informed the closely-listening audience that it was nature's way of deciding that since we can no longer reproduce, we no longer need one of the 'man magnets' - i.e. a nice big bush. Mind you, in these days of the Brazilian wax, I wonder if that is so true any more, except that of course, there are more sinister connotations of under-age sex associated with this procedure. I had just screwed my courage to the sticking point, so downcast was I at this latest downturn in my sex appeal, that I actually went out and bought the dye. It sat in my cupboard until a week later when I happened to try a new author at the library - and voila! In chapter three, the heroine went to visit her mother who was located, spreadeagled in her bedroom, having just dyed her pubes! Well, if that wasn't a sign, then my name isn't Fiftyodd at Fiftypushing! I did it. With pleasing results. Of course, my husband hasn't noticed a thing, but that's fine. I didn't do it for him. But I'm no different from anyone else. I watch Dr 90210 and Skindeep. In most cases, the husbands and boyfriends are quite happy with their partners just as they are and don't know what the fuss is about.

2 comments:

  1. Well I say a big thank you for the warning. What joy it is being a woman. lol..

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Not at all. We aim to please. Lucky you - stil being only a spring chicken!

    ReplyDelete